When Will You Arrive?

There was one night the other week that I had been up till the wee hours of the morning. Trying to figure out what to do to spend my remaining energy, I browsed through my notebooks and reread entries I’ve written over the years. There were the usual journal entries, a short story, unfinished stories, song lyrics I loved, poems and songs I wrote, quotes from my favorite novels and poems, and then there was this poem from Rainer Maria Rilke.

Just a short intro on how I came upon Rilke. I first read one of his poems from our college textbook called Prism.  A few years back, I just suddenly, out of the blue, thought about him while I was searching for poem compilations of great poets. I saw this one, entitled "You Who Never Arrived," and I instantly became a fan.

Maybe it’s because of the weather this past week or maybe because I’ve been listening to Damien Rice of late (especially as he wails “I am lately lonely/ horny”) that I suddenly remembered this poem.

Perhaps because my own search is starting to mirror this poem.

======================================================



You Who Never Arrived
  
You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me -- the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods--
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-- , and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,--
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening... 
                                         -Rainer Maria Rilke

A Reply to Your Untitled Poem

I read a poem you wrote

About someone, her lashes, your dreams of her, how you love her.

I read the poem and wished it was for me.

You inferred hearing a song which gave you a tug,

And I remember how we talked about songs,

How we like analyzing lyrics and loathe cheap, pretentious odes.

And I remember the way you’d look at me when you hear your favorite monologue of a song.

You wrote that she looked like a zombie and described her eyes.

It was that description that pulled something within me

Something about those eyes that made me think of mine.

I read that you love all of her but don’t know how to show her,

And that you’d go to the farthest places to dream of her.

You wrote something about how she loved the sky and how that

Makes you believe in something you refuse to see.

And how you’d run from place to place just to see dreams with her in them.

And you’ll go back for her.

I read this poem that you wrote about her

The time you left for some place better.

A place of promise… for fulfilling your dreams.

And I remembered, while reading, how you told me once about a dream you had,

A dream where I was in it.

I don’t remember much but for one detail you said

That in your dream we were both riding on a motorcycle,

You, the driver, while I ride behind you

On some joyride, in someplace within your dreams.

And I can just imagine wearing a white dress with the wind blowing my hair while laughing

With you

I don’t know what made me think of that…

Perhaps it’s the memory of something,

A photograph perhaps

Of your wedding, with your bride,

On a motorcycle.

And all I can do is smile as I write this

As I don’t desire for much…

Only that I wish

That the poem was written for me.

Poetry in Music

Cynthia Alexander is one poetic musician. Her music alone evokes certain emotions and the way her voice sounds makes you want to cry or long for someone/ something without even knowing the song's lyrics.

A song to me is like the type of boys girls usually like. The handsome/ jock type is like that song with a really really catchy melody, but upon deeper scrutiny, you find out that the lyrics isn't even worth quoting.  On the other hand, there are boys who exude that quiet cool. They're not nice to look at but when you talk to them, you see the inner beauty, the depth. Like the songs you can't quite catch the melody... The songs which you can't sing to but when you read the lyrics it just blows your mind.

Now, talking about Cynthia Alexander's poetry and lyricism, there is one particular song she has that I would call a very complicated man. Hell, he's so complicated that each feature can stand alone on its own but with different meanings compared to bleeding both features to become a whole which takes another meaning. You can just look at him, the beautiful man, and you start to form an idea of him. But when you talk to him he's a totally different person, loveable still, deep, cool, but totally different from the impression you first made. But when you merge the personality with the face, you know that it's him, your man... complicated, deep, and perfect for you.  The song is like that (in my opinion). The lyrics without the music is poetry itself while the music is emotion-evoking enough without the lyrics. But you need to know the lyrics while listening to the song to even love it more. 

Whew! That's a mouthful. Here is the song lyrics of U & I for your dissection.


On the island of my senses
You have lost your shape
The shadow of leaves fallen
A bed of limbs in stalemate
A crash of muted waves
In diminishing dimension 

But last night in black & white
A dream of lovers' eyes
A song on an old phonograph
A moving photograph of you and I

Sometimes in the dusk
When the sky bleeds certain shades
The color in between us
Is the sky that binds us
Never-ending you begin 
On and on and on
I only know
You are for real
 
But last night in black & white
A dream of lovers' eyes
A song on an old phonograph
A moving photograph of you and I.

----
And here is a link for you to listen to.

http://yesmusic.tumblr.com/post/4531374435/cynthia-alexander-u-i-on-the-island-of-my

Enjoy!

Goodbye Multiply

Tomorrow, Multiply will cease to be a social networking site and will instead become a marketplace. 

During my creative phase, Multiply was the site where I usually posted my blogs and travel photos. I didn't care about Facebook back then and I even customized the design of my own site, learning CSS and other tools for site customization. 

Lately, I had ceased to post anything in that site as I have also caught the FB bug, but learning about Multiply's demise as a social networking site saddens me. When I visited my site to backup the site contents, I can't help but feel nostalgic at the blogs I posted, especially the comments of some of my contacts--ranging from friends, office mates, netizens I've become familiar with in the site through mutual interests, and even the occasional well-known people from the internet and daily broadsheets.

Back then, blogging was something I took seriously, even to the point of doing "semi-professional" reviews of some of the places I've been to or just an anime I liked. Posting the most "professional" photos of sceneries was also a must, so some people's comments would really make my day, like Manila Bulletin's photographer Mr. Ross Capili's comments on my Ilocos Sunset album.

So on the eve of Multiply's transformation into a marketing site, I would like to blog in my Multiply site one last time as a way of showing my appreciation to the site for motivating me to squeeze out my creative juices and share to the rest of the worldwide web some of my thoughts and life experiences.

Thank you and Goodbye and I wish you success in your next endeavor.

As to the people I've met through Multiply, see you around in cyberspace. :)

------------------------------------

Postscript: You can visit my new blog site at: www.ryabianca.blogspot.com

Quote: On the Road

"...the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'" --Jack Kerouac

Facebook Timeline a Stalker's Paradise: Mass exodus on the way?

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/igeneration/facebook-timeline-a-stalkers-paradise-mass-exodus-on-the-way/12931

Just when you thought they were fixing their privacy settings, FB introduces another privacy nightmare. tsk... tsk... That threat by Anonymous doesn't seem to be that far behind... Should I switch to Google+?

Witty Acronyms

I found this one on a tri-wheeler I was riding on the way to work:

I -Ikaw
S -Sila
T -Tayo
A -Ang
M -Mga
B -Batang
A -Ayaw
Y -Yumaman

Makes perfect sense. =)